If you’ve been on TikTok lately, you know it is full of videos laying out dating “rules.” When it comes to first dates, the advice often suggests going for drinks instead of dinner, keeping the meet-up to two hours or less, and not locking lips.
Well, Alex Cooper, the host of Call Her Daddy whom Megyn refers to as the “sex podcaster lady,” recently used her enormous platform to push back on those dishing dating advice on social media. In addition to encouraging women to eat if they want to eat and not to set time constraints, Cooper had some very provocative thoughts about intimacy on a first date.
On Thursday’s show, Megyn was joined by Adam Carolla, host of The Adam Carolla Show, to discuss Cooper’s crass advice and why women shouldn’t follow it.
Cooper’s Crass Advice
The April 5 episode of Call Her Daddy was titled “Make Dating Fun Again” and, according to the episode description, was about “how to prioritize excitement and spontaneity when it comes to meeting your person” with Cooper breaking down – “from flirting to first dates” – “why the early dating stages can actually be the best time of your life, if you do them right.”
While the 50-minute episode dropped three weeks ago, it made news earlier this week after one of the raunchier portions of it recirculated on social media. In a two-and-a-half-minute clip that went viral, Cooper advocated for makeouts and sex on a first date and told listeners – in graphic detail – about sexual activity with her husband early on in their relationship.
“No kissing on a first date? Well, sometimes I fucked them on the first date,” Cooper declared. “How about that one, TikTok? Um, how about I let him eat me out on the first date, and I married him. No, I’m just kidding, he didn’t eat me out. That was, like, the second time.”
As Cooper sees it, true ‘efficiency’ on a first date is not time limits or drinks, as TikTokers suggests, but rather going as far as possible. “I’ve had so many dates where, like, I had great first date kisses, and I was like, ‘Oh, my God, I’m never calling you, but, oh, who doesn’t love a make out?’ Like, makeouts are so fun,” she said. “So, kiss them on the first date. Fucking sleep with them the first night. Like, I don’t care. You have to go based on what feels good to your body and what feels right to you.”
As for your friends who might express concern about such behavior? Cooper advised ignoring them. “If you have some fucking friends that are prudes that are like, ‘You should never kiss on the first date. You’re gonna give them the wrong impression, and they’re just gonna think you’re a whore,’ okay, maybe for you, Cassandra, but I’m about to let him in my back door on night two,” she proclaimed. “You don’t have to do anal on night two, but you could! Whatever feels right.”
She does not believe such behavior will in any way compromise your future prospects with the person you are seeing. “If a man is gonna treat you like a piece of shit and isn’t gonna call you, he’s not gonna treat you like a piece of shit just because you fucked him or made out with him on the first night,” Cooper claimed. “A man knows, okay?”
“Maybe make out with him so you stop wasting your time… What if, like, small-lipped Sammy, like, barely gets a little tongue in there… You’re probably not gonna want to fuck Sammy. But good to know,” she added. “You got it done on the first date. We’re maximizing our time, people.”
‘Don’t Follow That’
Carolla, who hosted Loveline with Dr. Drew Pinsky for a decade, does not believe Cooper is doing her listeners any favors with her ‘you do you’ attitude. “This concept of ‘what’s right for you’… is [where] we got ourselves into trouble,” he explained. “‘Everyone is different.’ ‘Not everything works… for everybody’… [No,] we’re all the same… They are things that work and it applies to running cities, running governments, relationships, happiness, weight loss, sanity. It is all real basic stuff, and we’ve decided to throw it all away with some sort of individualism BS that doesn’t work at all.”
That is especially true, he said, when you consider Cooper’s dating advice. “We didn’t do women right in the last 20 years,” Carolla said. “We basically told them: Every feeling you have is valid; every thought you have is valid; you need to act however you want to act, but more like a man sexually would be better for you… You’re completely free, and you can do whatever you want and say whatever you want.”
He said that as motherhood and marriage and other traditional values were demonized, women did not unlock some great new level of joy and fulfillment. “They became more miserable… and most of them are insane and suicidal and childless at 35. This is not a good thing,” Carolla noted. “What we told women was: Say whatever you want, cuss as much as you want, be angry as much as you want. And I think they’re sort of coming unraveled. Having anal sex on the first date is probably not advisable.”
In Cooper’s case, Megyn posited that she is saying what she thinks is “empowering” to young women without knowing enough to understand the consequences. “She feels like this is empowering for young women to say yes, and yet she’s too young… to have spoken to the reams of women that I’ve interviewed and met over the course of my life who made those same choices and then wound up deeply, deeply unhappy,” explained. “Because even if you do wind up getting married or finding a great partner and he doesn’t care about your very loose past, you care. You feel disgusting.”
While Megyn said women who make the choices Cooper is advocating for generally do so because “she is looking for somebody else to make her feel good about herself, to make her feel beautiful, to make her feel loved, to make her feel like she matters,” the behavior tends to have the opposite effect.
“It’s this ultimate irony that the more of these meaningless one-night stands a woman has, the less she feels any of that… As he’s trying to seduce her, she might feel that in the actual moment… [But] as soon as she watches him walk out, only to never call her again, because he has been there, done that… it’s going to lead to more feelings of self loathing,” Megyn continued. “That’s generally how it works out for these women.”
Given Cooper’s sizable audience and influence among young women, Megyn had one last piece of advice for her fans: “If you find her conversations interesting, good on you, but don’t actually follow that advice. I urge you, my fellow women, especially young women.”
You can check out Megyn’s full interview with Carolla by tuning in to episode 1,307 on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you like to listen. And don’t forget that you can catch The Megyn Kelly Show live on SiriusXM’s The Megyn Kelly Channel (channel 111) weekdays from 12pm to 2pm ET.