As Christians around the world observe Good Friday, Megyn welcomed Bishop Robert Barron of World on Fire Catholic Ministries to discuss the meaning and lessons of this holy time. His message of self-reflection, repentance, and salvation moved Megyn to open up about her own deeply personal faith journey as she has navigated the Catholic annulment process over the last several months. She shares her experience in her own words below.
Bishop, I have a feeling that you were sent here for this interview for me. Maybe I’ll help some of my audience, and maybe I’ll help myself because I have to tell you something.
I am a sinner, and I am having a bit of a crisis of faith these days. I am a lifelong Catholic, and I’ve been going through something. I really wrestled with whether I would raise it with you today because this is about Good Friday and Easter, but I’ve been thinking about what you said about what this day means, and being a sinner, and where that takes me.
The Annulment Process
I have been going through the process of getting an annulment of my first marriage. I’ve been married to my husband Doug for 16 years now. We just celebrated our wedding anniversary, but I never annulled my first marriage to my first husband with whom I am still very friendly. He’s a great guy. It just didn’t work out.
He is Catholic too, and we agreed that we would try to get an annulment. I’m not technically allowed to receive absolution in Confession until I do this, I couldn’t marry Doug in a church, and so on and so forth.
I’m going through the process now, and my local priest is helping me. I have to tell you, instead of renewing my faith and leading me on a journey where I would feel closer to God and embrace things like Lent, Good Friday, and Easter, it’s been driving me in a different direction. I didn’t even observe Lent this year. I did not go to church on Ash Wednesday. I’m feeling kind of emotional just talking about it.
It’s been like the in your face interjection of man in between your relationship with God that is getting to me. It’s not my priest. I want to make that clear. I really care about my priest, and he’s been wonderful. But I’m submitting these forms about my first marriage to whom? Who are these people who get to review my personal private details and pass a judgment on my marriage?
I went to my cardiologist recently because I go once a year, and he is a Jewish man. He tried to recruit me. He said, you know, there is no interloper in Judaism. It’s just you and God. And I’ve just really been wrestling with it. There have been a couple of experiences where I’ve been questioning: Why do I have to? Who is the man making me jump through hoops in order to have a more authentic, blessed relationship with God?
A Glimmer of Faith
I’ll give you a glimmer of hope that I had in my own faith and my Catholicism. Feeling somewhat disaffected but also missing mass, my rituals, and just the way you feel when you do the sacrament, I went to an Episcopalian Church to give it a try. My thought was it’s kind of Catholic-light, so maybe I’d feel something there.
I sat down and, within two minutes, something was off. First of all, we had a female priest which is a big change from the way we do it in the Catholic Church. But I thought I could forge through that. Everything was set up differently. The priest came down and was sort of preaching from the aisle. I was like, what is she doing over there? Okay, fine.
The congregation turned. Okay, we’re turning now. I don’t know what’s happening. In the Catholic Church, I know what the rituals are. The Episcopalians haven’t updated the mass, so we weren’t saying ‘And with your spirit.’ We were still saying ‘And also with you.’ It’s little things where it just feels off. It doesn’t feel right.
And then the priest’s whole homily was about the trans issue and how we need to be much more accepting of trans kids, which I don’t believe. I don’t think that is what is happening to these kids. They’re being pushed with social agendas that probably 99 percent of the cases don’t match up. I think it’s actually quite abusive. But she went on and on.
So, I got up and got right out of there after the homily. This was not for me. And I realized there is a reason I’m generally drawn more to the faith that with which I was raised, where there are these strict rules that sometimes feel weird and intrusive, but they resonate with me.
I suppose you feel it on a cellular level, when you grow up with it and when you go to church every Sunday. As Bishop Barron said, deep down you may still be longing for the connection you had as a kid going to church. I feel this is an opportunity to do as he suggested and take advantage of this time in the liturgical year to give the grace of God a chance to work on me.
I hope you have a great Easter with your family or just weekend if you don’t celebrate. I appreciate all of you each and every day, and you are in my prayers.
You can check out Megyn’s full interview with Bishop Barron by tuning in to episode 753 on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you like to listen. And don’t forget that you can catch The Megyn Kelly Show live on SiriusXM’s Triumph (channel 111) weekdays from 12pm to 2pm ET.